__ Thursday, September 30, 2004 ;
Baby, I still love you alot.....
Snow *
Has Stopped3:25 PM ;
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A blog is really a great place for me to write anything and everything.. that i'm feeling.. everytime i post something here, i'll feel much much better... I write wat i want or u people read wat u want.. just click on the x at the right hand corner if you dont want to read.. =X
Its gonna be the last entry for september.. Actually i dont know what i'm doing here.. with nothing but rubbish to write.. with lots of works to do.. but still i want to write....
I feel lost.. i dont know what i want.. be it career or love life.. dont know what to do.. what not to do.. People say women are very confused creatures.. i agree.. I mean.. i find myself hard to understand too... When i dont have a bf and can have all the freedoms in the world, i find myself wanting to find a bf.. coz its kind of lonely.. When i have one, i dont know how to cherish.. always quarrelling and fighting.. it doesnt seem like me at all... i dont know how to control my emotions.. Maybe i'm still too young to handle this kind of shit, dont know how to react and handle the situation....learning stage is a tough stage.. can i make it, or will i need to give up halfway through.. or maybe there is too little things for me to do and too much energy for me to spend.. so spend it on stupid things... like picking up a fight...
I want to meet my bf often.. but i also dont want us to be sick and tired of each other.. people often say dont meet too often.. otherwise will have arguements and stuff like that.. but if dont meet so often, i feel that you wont be close to ur bf.. talk too often not good, dont talk also not good.. how to achieve a balance? where you can have bf and he cares and can have equal freedom.. its easy to say, difficult to achieve... thats what i need to learn... Another saying is that when you grow older, you should open one eye and close one eye when facing relationships, to make life easier for you.. but why, if you need to close the eye, means that the other person is not trustworthy.. then, what for you still want to be together with the person?? I'll rather be single and be lonely than to do that.. (My thinking now..) But i think if i'm really single, i would think that i can close one eye.. why are women so complex and fickle minded...
People say i'm stubborn.. am i really? i just dont like it when people try to put me down.. i have my point of view, so let me say it... unless you can really prove me wrong... I can be really nice to you.. if you show me you are worth it.. give me attitude and i'll show you whats worst.... One last thing, if you like me, stay.. if you dont, get lost.. dont try to change me.. to become what i dont want to be.. i dont like being forced to do things....
It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.
Sir Winston Churchill
British politician (1874 - 1965)
Hack, and alex kept asking me to go kbox tonite.... how can i push it off....haiz..
Snow *
Has Stopped2:40 PM ;
__ Wednesday, September 29, 2004 ;
One good news to announce.. I'VE FINALLY DONE WITH THE 14,000 BOOKLETS FOR NTU & SMU... great work ya girl.. hahhaa... so happy... enough sufferings for my hand and fingers..
Another thing is that, my november holiday, that weekend, 13, 14, 15 is more or less set.. we're going to desaru.. Yeah, u people must be more onz k.. go there we must enjoy ourselves to the fullest.. cant wait to go there for the seafood.. this time, we'll order more than we ordered when we went to JB that time.. rite, stephie and selena.. *lolz*
The astrology posted up by stanrick is damn accurate i think.. for his case and mine lah.. so.. hmm.. must think of ways to solve the problem abt who being the boss.. =)No more arguements over small little things.. even over jay chou's concert also must argue for abt at least 20 mins.. haiz.. Xiao Hai Zi leh.. ^(oo)^
Anyway, although today is only wednesday, i'm looking forward to saturday.. coz all of us is going to wear nice nice, walk around, take photos, have dinner and chill out, relax.. sounds interesting? haha.. gals.. better come up with the place to eat soon.. gonna make it memorable for lynn..
Can off work soon..counting down.. half an hour more to go.. yeah.. meeting baby for dinner.......... @ my house.. hahaha..
[[~ LiyUn.LoVe.StANriCk.SeLenA.StePHanIE.LyNN ~]]
Snow *
Has Stopped5:30 PM ;
__ Tuesday, September 28, 2004 ;
Baby, every relationships has its ups and downs.. although we have arguements, the main and most important thing abt it is that we must solve it and come to an understanding or conclusion asap without any lingerings of bad feelings.. also, even when we quarrel, we must not go do stupid things (u know what i'm talking abt) in hope to anger the other party and end up regretting things or not being abt to salvage the situation...
Remember you told me that we still have lots of things to do together... I believe that we'll have forever to look forward to..... =)
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Has Stopped10:05 AM ;
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Its been a few days i never blog already.. actually got alot of things to do.. the NTU's booklets to be completed.. but, just feel guilty for not blogging and after seeing baby's blog, i must say something...
Baby, where did all ur confusions come from.. all along i thought u know the direction of ur life and have clear goals abt everything.. so, where and how did it arise.. dont question life, for everything that happens will surely have its reason for it..
Sometimes, when we have grown older, we tend to take the friends or people close to us for granted, we take it that they will always be there.. but, i agree with baby.. time stops no one.. Yesterday, while walking home with stephanie, i am suddenly filled with guilt.. She was telling me that her friends, yu tong and cerintha has left singapore and she knows how it feels.. you will regret and stay why didnt u spend more time with them while they are around.. its the same for me too.. remember last week when i thought this sat that lynn's leaving.. i kept blaming myself for not spending the past two sats with her.. now that she has extended her stay, i still didnt go and meet her.. when she and stephanie went clubbing last sat, i did not join them.. when they want to go clubbing this sat, i was still thinking of whether i should go.. i just feel so bad.. i should have been with them..
Then, stephie told me she felt very very down the last week.. loneliness and stuffs, with lynn leaving.. i feel.. so sad.. she was there when i needed her the other time.. told her i need to go clubbing coz i wont know whats the result between stanrick and...... without hestitation, she told me she'll accompany me.. how can i let my life evolve around stanrick and not care abt how she and lynn feels.. i'm sorry lynn.. sorry stephie too..
Now that i've told stanrick how i feel, i'm glad that he's very understanding and supportive.. i need to better juggle life between baby, friends, work and family.. =)
Snow *
Has Stopped10:00 AM ;
__ Wednesday, September 22, 2004 ;
Yesterday is really a bad day.. i was uptight for the whole day.. my anger rises and goes down.. then rises again and goes down.. kaoz..
Stanrick came lot 1 to meet me, selena and stephanie.. he bought the sweets that i like for me.. actually was quite alright already.. but while waiting for stephanie outside giordano, we quarrelled again.. over Ivy and stuff like that.. then we went siam kitchen for dinner.. everything was.. ok i guess..
After that, sit outside mac for a short chat.. abt clubbing, coz lynn is leaving soon.. abt out upcoming trip.. then, selena walked home, steph took a bus home and me and stan took a cab home.. I think he's pissed off over something again.. coz his face was quite bad.. before i got down the cab i told him everything is back to sqaure one.. Then he told me he's upset coz we didnt discuss abt the trip.. keep talking abt clubbing.. haiz.. miscommunication again.. i hope after that u understand that the discussion is not centered around me and its not me who can direct the way where the conversation should lead to..
Talk over the phone for a while and finally, the day ended with him telling me that i'm one of his gf that he always anyhow scold.. the other one is michelle.. hmm.. michelle again.. never mind.. i feel very sad.. why must it be that whatever things he do to her he must do to me.. i dont want.. i really dont want.. dont like the feeling of taking over her or stuff like that.. i want our relationship to be a new and fresh one.. with little or no links to the past etc.. I cried myself to sleep.. too upset, with all the churned up angers, frustration etc..
Then, stanrick called me at 1am, told me he saw my blog and he's very sad.. maybe becoz i've cried and rested, i really feel much better.. everything's gone.. i just dont want him to be sad.. if not i wont feel well too.. we will try k baby.. dont make each other sad anymore.. =)
Supposed to go clubbing with lynn, stephanie and selena today.. but lynn's sick.. never mind.. next time ba.. we'll definately come out and enjoy one of these days.. lynn's leaving.. have to at least accompany her to club one of these days..
Tmr, i'm taking leave and finally can rest.. maybe go see the banking stuff with selena.. hmm.. or go IKEA or JB.. cant wait for tmr to come.. ^_^ rite now, must endure another day of stapling the booklets.. ouch.. my hand and fingers really hurts..
Snow *
Has Stopped10:20 AM ;
__ Tuesday, September 21, 2004 ;
My day has began with harsh tones, feelings of sadness, angers, disappointments, hurts...
Never have i known the feeling of being scolded till there isnt any single moment where u can add in anything, any minutes where u can defend urself... I'm dumbfounded and can just listen to what stanrick have to say.. things he'd said really hurts.. it wasnt my intention to mean or sound that way by asking where is he in the middle of the nite.. but being rejected 6 times of calls is really.... hmm..
Anyway, i'm not really upset abt it.. just the way you scolded me and not listening to wat i say..
Sometimes, i really really wonder if you really cares abt wat i think.. or how i feel.. Often i will think.. why is it that people who loves each other got to hurt each other as much? Is that the way to love... I dont wish to see the ugly side of love...
I missed the times when we've just grown to be close.. when we wont be pissed off with each other so easily.. when we will look forward to each meeting.. When we spent long hours on the phone without quarrelling.. when you tell me you love me everyday... i really missed them...
Office without BS is really quieter and i can get to do my things in peace.. Me and Weili got to jiayou.. to stapler for 14,000 booklets for NTU... ^_^
Hope by end of today everything will be much much better..
Snow *
Has Stopped9:23 AM ;
__ Saturday, September 18, 2004 ;
Met baby at buona vista and guess wat.. he appeared with a squid leg from old chang kee and a bottle of barley water.. =)
Told him abt BS and he was alittle pissed off.. but luckily the bad mood didnt last for long.. Met up with selena and went NYDC.. Dinner was.. ok i guess.. didnt talk much.. coz dont know wat to say.. but most of them are still the same.. hmm.. thanks yolanda and cylin for the dinner...
Baby came and fetch me after my dinner.. saw the rest of them.. and he told me jane gave me quite a black face.. err.. Jane is stanrick's ex gf.. Jialek hor.. haha.. anyway.. heck care.. *grinz*
Then me, selena and stanrick went to take the mrt home while the rest of them took a bus home.. accompanied baby to have dinner.. he so poor thing.. wait 2 hours for me and he didnt eat anything.. then took a cab home.. Feel so xingfu.. =)
This morning got a msg from lynn.. suddenly feel sad.. She's leaving singapore to go back to china to work.. company ask her to go one.. maybe not coming back.. i think its really very sudden.. feel like i'm going to lose a good fren soon.. haiz.. althought i've known lynn for only abt 1 year and she's older than me, i think she's a very fun person to be with and its great talking to her... thought back abt those memories with her and think that i really should treasure the people around me.. you wont know what will happen the next day.. just like lynn, told me this thing is really very sudden, she only know abt it yesterday nite..
Anyway, today is saturday, i'm going to enjoy my weekend.. =)
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Has Stopped12:35 PM ;
__ Friday, September 17, 2004 ;
A Pix of Me and Baby.. ^(oo)^
Snow *
Has Stopped9:47 PM ;
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And... not excluding me.. Hahaha..
Snow *
Has Stopped9:46 PM ;
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Hsiao Hui
Snow *
Has Stopped9:45 PM ;
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Jane & Huiying
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Has Stopped9:45 PM ;
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Yolanda & Cylin
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Has Stopped9:44 PM ;
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Huiying,Selena,Yolanda & Cylin
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Has Stopped9:43 PM ;
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Finally its Friday... I dont have to endure any more of BS's shit.. feeling quite happy.. :)
Today during lunch time, he said alot of stupid things, giving lots of self opinions when i didnt even ask him to give.. trying to act smart and put people down.. kaoz.. i was so angry.. told him i'm going to vomit blood if i continue talking to him and told him harsely that we got generation gap.. then he kept pin-pointing my friends and saying bad things abt them and me.. wat the hell.. i think you will have retribution one.. never mind.. hope u grow fatter and fatter.. *_^
Tonite, i'm going to wheellock place's nydc for dinner.. yolanda and cylin's birthday celebration.. hmm.. didnt really want to go.. coz feel that will have nothing to talk to them abt.. but guess.. still have to go.. luckily selena is also going with me.. and our miss stephie, get to miss it coz of her KL cum genting trip.. hope she's enjoying..
My baby is so sweet.. after making me upset for half the day yesterday, he came to westmall to meet me and we= baby, selena, ivy + me had dinner at BK.. then went to lot1 to get yolanda and cylin's present.. after that he went home.. Today, he is coming to buona vista to wait for me and then we will go to orchard.. he's going to borders to do his self revision and at the same time wait for me.. =) thanks baby.. And not forgetting he sounded so cute this morning when i called him at abt 11am.. He was like.."sorry sorry dar.. i really didnt hear.. sorry dar.." Still so sleepy, yet so anxious to please.. so afraid i will be angry again...
He called me at 1.30am yesterday and told me that there's loopholes in his project.. thus he has to rush, cant sleep early.. told me he'll msg me when he's going to sleep.. in the end, i woke up at 7.15am, didnt see any msg, so i msg him to see if he has fallen asleep.. no replies.. pig man.. haha..
Then i tried calling him at 10.30am.. coz i'm afraid he might fall asleep halfway without completing his project and he told me the dateline is today.. so, i called and called.. Wanting to see how many calls will wake him up.. (My brother's record is 99 missed calls from his gf) Normally, with his old hp, baby will wait up at the first or the most second call... But guess what? Today, i was patient enough to let him give me 13 missed calls... Haha.. way to go baby.. ^(oo)^
But i wasnt angry at all.. coz he really sounded very sincere when he's apologising.. so.. i yuan liang you.. =)
Snow *
Has Stopped4:50 PM ;
__ Thursday, September 16, 2004 ;
It has been raining since morning... dark and grey sky..... same goes to my mood for today... :(
Snow *
Has Stopped1:42 PM ;
__ Wednesday, September 15, 2004 ;
Things to update:
Last day of work for Uncle BS is on Friday. Which means, i'll get out of his shit by saturday.. Haha.. *So happy* But then.. it also means, all-in will be more busy without him.. coz i guess, alex will not go and look for another sales so soon... Work will be more loaded in times to come..
Funny, alex seems to know i'm thinking of whether i can endure.. He told me..
Alex: " Sharon, u cannot fang qi us and go find new job k.. if not, i think i'll die.. But, jane and i also treats u very good wat rite.. i also dont dare to provoke you.."
Me: " Err.. all right lah.."
Well well, guess even if i really want to change job, it will also be difficult.. i'll just wait for half more year and gain one year of working experience, then see how ba.. =) Hopefully, i dont get lost in halfway..
Anyway, wanted to go catch a movie with selena.. it seems a long time since we've watch movie together.. but too bad.. timing not rite.. Nevermind, see how tmr..
Oh ya, stephie, enjoy ur trip to KL and Genting tmr hor.. Be careful and ahem..... only the two of u going.... enjoy wor.. *grinz* hahahaha...
***Gotta remember to call lynn tmr to ask her abt sat***
Snow *
Has Stopped6:00 PM ;
__ Tuesday, September 14, 2004 ;
***~~~ I must learn to treasure what i have and not to be angry easily... HOWEVER, baby must learn not to always make me angry... Hahaha.. *_^ ~~~***
Not everyone can be so lucky as to be able to be together with the one they really love.. So, treasure the precious moments and try to think of everyday to be the last.. you'll learn to cherish lots of things..
Grab hold of opportunities.. dont wait till they're gone already then regret.. same goes to things that you think you should not do.. dont do... otherwise, do it, but dont regret... ------ came across these in i forgot where le.. but just suddenly feel alot abt it today.. =)
Anyway, lalala.. i must stay positive.. ^(oo)^
Snow *
Has Stopped2:30 PM ;
__ Sunday, September 12, 2004 ;
YEAH!!! Today is my 5th month anniversary with baby..
Hmm... Five months.. its actually not a very long period, but to us, its actually considered quite long... we've been through quite some ups and downs together, we've done silly and stupid stuffs together, we've had our fair shares of arguements and quarrels.. and.. we've met up almost everyday.. except monday, for the past 4 months, not counting the 1st month (everything still not stable)
Now it seems that alot of people know that we're together and we're happily attached to each other.. The number of people disturbing us is really greatly reduced in number.. and we're living like in the world of two person, with only close frens around us.. The feeling is really great..
I really hope that things will remain this way for a long long time to go..
I LOVE U BABY.. =) You're just so sweet and cute.. although, sometimes abit irritating.. but nonetheless, i still love you...
Hee... I'm now slacking at baby's house, just went for dinner with him and his granny bought back chicken rice for us.. jialek.. surely turning into a pig soon.. And my baby's more pig.. he's slacking in the bed.. sleeping i think.. Haha...
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Has Stopped7:00 PM ;
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These pix are taken at my house a few days ago.. And, guess what.. My baby did this for me, 2 days ago i think, when he's abit sick.. He's very very sweet rite... *muackz*
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Has Stopped3:56 AM ;
__ Saturday, September 11, 2004 ;
Today, uncle BS is on leave.. i went to the bank myself and went to work.. Reached there at abt 9.45am.. Do abit of accounts and guess what? haha.. Alex told me there's a very affordable meal for KFC and he really wants to eat. since weili is driving today, we went to holland village to buy for him.. Went back office, slack for a while more then went home le.. wat a relaxing day..
Weili wanted to send me to buona vista mrt station.. in the end, changed her mind, say send me to lot1.. but, this is the first time she drives out, thus not very familiar with the route.. i wasnt concentrating well.. and she, drove right into tanjong pagar area.. kaoz.. luckily i was familiar with that area.. can direct her back to cck..
Auntie Jane and stanrick waited for me at lot1.. i got to pass auntie jane some namecards.. then she drove us home..
Went downstairs to get the paints for my room... Pink and purple.. quite sweet wor.. since its late already and we already have plans on what to eat at nite, me and stanrick just went home to cook one packet of maggie mee to share before starting to work on my room..
Wow, it was super super dusty when i move out my cupboard.. *eeeee* we started work at abt 4.30pm, painted the whole room, clean every corners, went to bath and by the time everything ends is abt 10pm le.. Oh ya, forgot the intervals.. Auntie Jane, auntie coreena and auntie ping came for abt 15mins to look at how my room looks like le.. Haha.. coz auntie jane feels that stanrick is too.. SHAO YE le.. *grinz* Selena came at abt 6.30pm, she also bought KFC here.. we stopped for a break and have our KFC dinner.. so my mom, Selena, stanrick and I just sit on the floor of my living room and spread all the food in front of us.. Abit like going for a picnic huh.. Haha.. Selena also helped me to paint.. And...
THANK YOU + HUGGIES FOR THE TWO OF YOU = SELENA + BABY
The three of us also leave finger prints on my newly painted wall.. Will posts the pictures up soon once i got back the digital camera.. (Its now at baby's place)
Auntie Jane called me at abt 9.55pm and asked me how's my room le.. Then asked abt stanrick's birthdate.. she's into fengshui and stuff.. told me that stanrick's element is FIRE, I'm METAL.. If the two of us is together, I am his wealth element, meaning i'm give him wealth and money.. He will in turn give me recognition and confidence... Quite fair i guess.. Must remind stanrick to give me his time of birth.. As for selena, she's also a FIRE and now is her best twenty years.. wow.. not bad huh..
Then, since its saturday, we wanted to stay out alittle bit later, thus we went the the interchange coffee shop for a drink and supper.. Haiz, things got alittle wrong here and spoil abit of mood.. luckily not for long.. Baby misplaced his keys.. i offered him to stay over at my house..if not later he's locked out again like the last time.. but he's.. haiz.. not appreciated.. then say he will go find his cousin later to get the keys.. ask him to call first to make sure his cousin is at home for him to get the keys, he dont want.. say will call later.. two of us got pissed out, and he says he's going home.. Me and selena walked straight to interchange and he.. i guess went to take a cab.. 5 mins later, he msg selena if we still going to eat.. I told selena to tell him we're going home, but arrghh.. selena msg him that we're going to eat.. BUT, luckily 20mins later, evrything is well again coz he came down to look for us and apologise.. and told me he has called his cousin already... =)
*Yawnzzz* I'm super tired.. but satisfied with my day's work..
Snow *
Has Stopped11:30 PM ;
__ Friday, September 10, 2004 ;
Work kindda sucks today...
Normally, when i reached office, the door would already have been opened. Even if its not opened, it will not be locked. However, today when i reached office, the door is locked... which means.. Shit, alex is not in office!! = he went drinking
again...
True enough, when uncle BS, Richard uncle, kyne and i went in, the office is in pitch dark and alex is not in.. Haiz.. tried calling his hp at 9.30am, didnt picked up.. Hell, he had two appointments today with clients and one of them was even coming out soon le.. I had to call him and tell him to maybe come later...
Until 10.30am, i had already called his hp 3 times, but still never ans.. Only then i saw that his hp was actually left in the office.. He didnt bring it out..
Clive called me and told me that we need to collect the banners and send it to NTU.. I called up to check if the banner is ready.. it took very long for the person to confirm.. and by the time i call Uncle BS to tell him to go down to geylang to collect, he's already freking mad, coz he's at Qian Hu Fish Farm now, which is in CCK. He was mad because he was actually at beach road before that.. and if he go down to kallang from beach rd, its easier.. also, he can go Qian Hu already then go to NTU.. now, everything is messed up.. I was very mad too.. coz, i wasnt the one to control the timing for them and he shouldnt just push everything to me.. Now that alex is not in, everything is sort of in a mess already, you should try to take some of the burdens and maintain the situation.. Instead.. you just nag and nag.. and you're already 32 years old, sales manager somemore.. Only know how to demoralise people.. Frankly speaking, i look down on you.. really...
My designer, werry was there and she heard the way i talk to Uncle BS.. I was really mad.. In the end, he gave in and went to collect the things.. Its was a very busy morning for me.. the phone kept ringing non stop.. Everyone is looking for Alex...
At abt 1pm, Alex came back and he can actually still look very happy.. In the end is to tell me to give him his advance salary.. and he's going out again.. to look for Mr Goh(He was accompanying him the previous nite) He want to psycho him to be our roving sales team, coz mr goh has 10 over years of experience and he has alot of existing clients on hand.. told me he has to sacrifice.. cant depend on BS..
Right, you are the boss, you can do whatever you like, but at least you have to tell us what to do when you're not around and tell us what needs to be done or what is pending, so that we can help you and we know what to tell the customers.. but, nothing.. he just disappear.. without his hp again..
Rita, one of the customer, is flying off to new york the next day morning and she was supposed to come collect some posters today.. However, the posters are not done yet and there is no instructions or wat from alex. In the end, i took my own initiative to ask werry to try to print for her.. The posters need lamination.. Later, i saw that we've run out of lamination pouch.. Again, i was angry.. with alex.. for not saying that we've run out of it and that we need to order(he's the last one using it).. Called up the uncle, luckily he was kind enough to come within one and a half hours..
In the end, still didnt managed to print for rita.. coz the designer is new and still doesnt really know how to use the machine, FUJI XEROX, dont know how to insert paper into the bypass tray.. called up rita and tell her to come early in the morning the next day... I went to fold things and werry helped me.. uncle BS? came back at 2+pm, rot all the way till 6pm.. just sat there and talk to us.. didnt even help.. Keep saying demoralising things.. Haiz.. How come this kind of people will exist in this world?
My auntie, Jane, send an email to alex:
Alex,
I have never encountered people like you who can just disappear in my working life and
people that i know off.
My joint venture with you is a investor and you are to manage it well but disappear again.
We over here operate business with well organised system..constantly think ways to
improve....also facing alot of problems, pressure..but we managed it,
Alex, next time if you think that you need to go for drink till cannot come to office, pls
drink it on Saturday night at least Sunday..no customers will call .
Thank you for your cooperation
From angry
Jane Alison Koh
Then, uncle BS send me and werry home.. I seriously dont know what is his problem..
BS: " why u everyday also selena selena?"
ME: " i forgot to bring her dress yesterday, so i have no choice but to meed her again today.."
BS: " i think she's someone very troublesome.. if she want to get it from you, should be she come and take it.. why must you go meet her?"
ME: " its ok, anyway, its just lot1.. everyday i have to bypass there to go home.. furthermore, i dont think she's troublesome.. she's very nice.."
BS: " then ask her to treat me lor.. since she's very nice.. you also dont want to treat me.. keep dragging the date.. not sincere at all.."
Msging with selena on the way to lot 1.. told her dont know how long more i can endure...
Went to lot one to meet stanrick.. things didnt really go well too.. Had some arguements over minor things.. =(
Hope tmr will be a better day for me.. things will be better in all aspects... and i will be able to handle things in a more mature way/thinking...
Snow *
Has Stopped11:10 AM ;
__ Thursday, September 09, 2004 ;
Yeah.. today is thursday!! Counting down to saturday.. =)
Selena- I agree with you.. Everyone has a problem.. It will juust have to depend on which side you look at the problem from..
Everyone must learn to look at problems on the bright side so as to make life easier.. =)
I'm so glad to have friends like you and stephie, who have been with me since secondary school, who have seen rain or sunshine with me... who is ever so encouraging and offers me good solutions or good listening ears.. who keeps nagging at me and not giving up on me when i was once like..... haha.. *huggies*
Like what we say, its only a matter of time.. we have to endure through this period- the initial stage of working life.. then we will be able to strive something for ourselves.. Dont give up on future..
Remember the times when we keep complaining abt work when we just started off? haha.. now it seems we are still doing it.. but lesser already.. Great improvement yeah?
Just want to tell you and stephie.. I love you gals.. ^_*
Hee.. I will try to change the photo as soon as i find a better pix..
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Has Stopped9:45 AM ;
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I love you because.....
I love you because you are always there for me
I love you because you are so understanding
I love you because you are willing to change for me
I love you because you are so cute
I love you because you are so sweet
I love you because you are so silly
I love you because you point out my mistakes to me patiently
I love you because you scold me when i'm in the wrong
I love you because you try your best to understand me
I love you because you want the best of everything for me
I love you because you made me changed
I love you because you can make me laugh
I love you because you make me cry
I love you because just thinking of you makes my day better
I love you because you share your happiness with me
I love you because you share your sorrows with me
I love you because you let me have the freedom to do whatever things i want
I love you because i can see a future with you
I love you because you love the real me
I love you because you are mr stanrick tan
Snow *
Has Stopped9:35 AM ;
__ Tuesday, September 07, 2004 ;
*Huggies* to my 3 friends first...
SELENA, IVY & STEPHANIE..
They are all very concerned abt me.. Selena and Ivy wanting to meet me to talk and steph calling to ask whats wrong even though all of them are busy with their own lives and tired after a long day of working....
I'm.... Alright le i guess... I wasnt myself at all yesterday.. its as if i brought my heart to work and not my brains.. i cant function well.. Alex told me to bring something to TIA, i forgot.. haiz.. I cant do anything well at all.. I'm only thinking abt Stanrick.... This makes me realise that i cant lose him.. at all... I tried to think of life in future without him.. realised i cant... cant imagine the person next to me is not him.. but someone else...
Stanrick asked me yest: "what if one year later, i'm alone and see you with your bf?"
That thought has never occurred in my mind... I just want to see one year later, my bf is still HIM...
We met up for dinner and to talk... He told me his point of everything.. That he has thrown away alot of things which are in the box(a box he packed)but.. heck, he's just lazy.. to go to the drawer and take out the pix to throw.. I realised that deep in my heart, i actually believe him.. really.. I dont know why, but i just do... Maybe, i've wanted very much to believe him, so that life will be easier.. maybe, who knows? But all i know is that.. its a kind of feeling which cant be expressed in words... That, i really believe and trusted his words....(after i cooled down..^_^)
There isnt any tinge of doubt in him..at all.....
Pls, Pls, give me strength to forget everything.. No point trying to remember, since i wanted so much to be with him... =)
Just hope everything will go on smoothly.. even if there are obstacles, i hope we can overcome it.. Our love will be stronger than ever...
Pls dont do anything to hurt urself anymore...
[[I.Need.The.Strength.And.The.Courage.]]
Snow *
Has Stopped10:18 AM ;
__ Monday, September 06, 2004 ;
I had a terrible day yesterday.. One of the worst or can i say its the worst i've ever had since i've been together with stanrick..
We met up at marsiling mrt station at 10am. Went for breakfast and then back to his place.. We surf the net and look for our blogskins.. Then, both of us fell asleep.. And woke up 2 hours later.. I went to the washroom and immediately after i came back, he told me i've got a msg in my hp.. Without thinking, since there's nothing for me to hide, i told him to read it for me since he's holding onto my phone..
Its from my friend, zhongquan, apologising for the late reply(I msg him yest) Stanrick got angry.. i mean really angry.. He asked me when i msg him.. i tried to explain.. I changed phone with stanrick, i'm using his samsung phone that day and there were messages inside.. quite alot in fact and if i dont clear, it will run out of spaces for new messages..I dont know which one is his and which is mine and there are only numbers for some and no name.. One of the no(Which is zhongquan's) is familiar but i'm not very sure if its him.. I dont want to anyhow delete messages in case its stanrick's friend..
Stanrick really flare up.. I wanted to leave.. to go home.. but he grab my hands until so hard and told me to settle things before leaving.. In the end, I hid below his blanket and cried... He has doubted me.. :(
Soon after, things were alright already.. I dont stay angry for long.. We continue to do our blogs, surf net and then we watched 13 going on 30.. After that, we went for dinner and i took a train home.. Stanrick wanted to send me home but i told him not to..
On the way home, i confessed to him abt something through the phone.......
Me: "Where are the box that you said you wanted to buy?"
Stan: "Buy the box ah, to keep all those letters and cards other girls gave me.. I've already thrown away all the photographs that will remind you of anything.. (I got upset that time when i saw michelle's photo still displaying on top of his cupboard and still in his wallet..)"
Me: "Really? You've thrown away? Its ok if you never you know.."
Stan: "Yeah.. I told you i've thrown away.."
Me: "I'm very sorry to tell you this, but i wanted to see where's the pig container with stars that i've made for you are at..I know i shouldnt even have open your drawers without asking you.. But what's done is already done and.... I saw something.... I saw some photos(the one in his wallet and the rest are those that was displaying on the cupboard) still in the drawer.. but you told me you've thrown away.."
Stan:" I said i've thrown away some.. not all.."
Me:" But why did you throw away some and not all? If you want to keep, keep all.. if you want to throw away, throw all.. Whats the meaning of throwing half and keeping some?"
Stan:" I have not cleared that part of the drawer.. thats why.."
ME:" Its really redundant to say that.. You know i was pissed off with that photo.. 2 days later you told me you've thrown away things.. Now, you still lied abt throwing it away.. if i never see it, i would really have believe you.. Even if you have throw away other photos, its funny u still keep the photo i was so pissed off with..( I was thinking.. It will only take 1 min to take out that photo- since u know it exist and throw it away.. wat for bother to find excuse and say you havent clear the drawer? If its other photos i find, i can still tell myself its ok, coz you might have forgotten theres a photo here.. But its that PHOTO, together with those i've seen it displaying on the cupboard.."
I strongly believe that its because he SHE BU DE to throw them away... I told him to give me some time to sort of my feelings.. Called up selena and told her.. She told me the same thing as i was thinking.. :(
Stan called and we talked.. i dont want to lose him.. but i cant forget that.. he SHE BU DE throw away the things.. Actually, he shouldnt have told me he's throwing away things in the first place.. give me false.. hmm.. hope?
I told him i wont give up on him... but, what if the past keeps taunting me??
[[I.Wish.I.Had.Not.Opened.That.Drawer.Things.Would.Have.Been.Alot.Easier]]
Snow *
Has Stopped10:00 AM ;
__ ;
Looking Blur... ^(oo)^
Snow *
Has Stopped1:46 AM ;
__ Saturday, September 04, 2004 ;
Things to update:
From next week onwards, Uncle Kelvin is coming to All-In on every monday,tuesday and thursday.. Auntie Jane is coming on ever wednesday and friday.. To keep an eye on the two sales person.. Which means.. I CANT SURF THE NET AS AND WHEN I LIKE... :(
Snow *
Has Stopped7:31 PM ;
