__ Wednesday, September 22, 2004 ;

Yesterday is really a bad day.. i was uptight for the whole day.. my anger rises and goes down.. then rises again and goes down.. kaoz..


Stanrick came lot 1 to meet me, selena and stephanie.. he bought the sweets that i like for me.. actually was quite alright already.. but while waiting for stephanie outside giordano, we quarrelled again.. over Ivy and stuff like that.. then we went siam kitchen for dinner.. everything was.. ok i guess..


After that, sit outside mac for a short chat.. abt clubbing, coz lynn is leaving soon.. abt out upcoming trip.. then, selena walked home, steph took a bus home and me and stan took a cab home.. I think he's pissed off over something again.. coz his face was quite bad.. before i got down the cab i told him everything is back to sqaure one.. Then he told me he's upset coz we didnt discuss abt the trip.. keep talking abt clubbing.. haiz.. miscommunication again.. i hope after that u understand that the discussion is not centered around me and its not me who can direct the way where the conversation should lead to..


Talk over the phone for a while and finally, the day ended with him telling me that i'm one of his gf that he always anyhow scold.. the other one is michelle.. hmm.. michelle again.. never mind.. i feel very sad.. why must it be that whatever things he do to her he must do to me.. i dont want.. i really dont want.. dont like the feeling of taking over her or stuff like that.. i want our relationship to be a new and fresh one.. with little or no links to the past etc.. I cried myself to sleep.. too upset, with all the churned up angers, frustration etc..


Then, stanrick called me at 1am, told me he saw my blog and he's very sad.. maybe becoz i've cried and rested, i really feel much better.. everything's gone.. i just dont want him to be sad.. if not i wont feel well too.. we will try k baby.. dont make each other sad anymore.. =)


Supposed to go clubbing with lynn, stephanie and selena today.. but lynn's sick.. never mind.. next time ba.. we'll definately come out and enjoy one of these days.. lynn's leaving.. have to at least accompany her to club one of these days..


Tmr, i'm taking leave and finally can rest.. maybe go see the banking stuff with selena.. hmm.. or go IKEA or JB.. cant wait for tmr to come.. ^_^ rite now, must endure another day of stapling the booklets.. ouch.. my hand and fingers really hurts..

Snow *
 Has Stopped10:20 AM ;