__ Thursday, October 28, 2004 ;
Very funny.. dont know how come nowadays everyday also feel 'bu shuang' over little little things.. maybe must go drink the bu shuang already..haha...
Yesterday, Auntie Jane and Kelvin uncle send me and weili to buona vista mrt after work.. i was there damn early.. 6.15pm i think.. supposed to meet selena at 6.35pm.. We took a cab to NUH.. to donate blood.. to jiehui's dad.. *ouch*
Actually, i was really scared when i reached there and saw the nurse coming out with a bag of blood.. i mean.. wah, so bloody red.. filled in the forms, weigh myself and went to lied down. The nurse came and start measuring my pressure etc, then poke a needle at my finger.. that was like ouch.. very painful leh!! I almost want to change my mind abt donating blood le.. then i looked selena, she was lying opposite me.. thats her second time there, so she's not scared that all.. she has already completely everything and her nurse went to apply some brown color solution on her arm.. then, i saw the big needle going in.. i was like "hao kong bu wor!!"
By the time my nurse came back, i was shaking like mad.. then selena smiled at me.. i tried not to think of the needle and to relax.. the nurse told me it will not be as painful as the finger one.. then before i know it, the big needle was already inside and blood was already coming out, into the bag.. the whole process only lasted less than 45 minutes.. then we went to drink milo and thats it!! Seriously, i feel kind of good. Glad that i went to donate blood. Who knows what miracle can my blood do.. hahaha.. Selena called jiehui, but she's teaching tuition, not in hospital. So we went to take a peep at her dad ourselves.. Hope everything's alright with him..
We took bus 97 to jurong east, eat our dinner, then i went over to my grandma's house to collect namecard sample.. got scolded for donating blood.. coz they say i not enough blood le still donate.. then i hurried home.. timing was just right, just when i reached home, it started raining.. :)
Actually, i think that this is another incident wherebty u can know if the friends you have made are really frens.. Just like this friend of mine, Andy-Xiang Hua aka chen han wei, he only met jiehui like less than 3 times and they are hi bye friend who never really keep in contact.. Anyway, i called andy up and asked if he has any friends with the blood type required and he immediately told me he's O+.. then told me he's going to school(NUS)later and thus can go to NUH to donate blood.. This is wat i call friend.. he agreed without any questions and without hestitation.. Furthermore, he really went and went alone, didnt even call jiehui when he's at hospital. This is what i call pure friendship, without motives.. Anyway, really glad to know u as a friend.. :)
Snow *
Has Stopped12:30 PM ;
__ Tuesday, October 26, 2004 ;
I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl. "Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked. "I can't" "Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me. "No. I am going to meet a friend." He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'love' only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days.200days. Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why. Then one day. Me: Um, Jin, I ... Jin: What.don't drag, just say.. Me: I love you. Jin: ..you..um, just take this doll and go home. That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many. Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But. lunch passed, dinner passed. and soon the sky was dark. he still didn't call......... It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily. Me: Jin. Jin: Here.take this. Again, he handed me a little doll. Me: What's this? Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye. Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is? Jin: Today? Huh? I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted. "Wait." Jin: You have something to say? Me: Tell me, tell me you love me. Jin: What?! Me: Tell me I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left. "I don't want to say.that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb.and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily. How could he.. I felt that. Maybe he is not the right guy for me. After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room. everyday. After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that. I saw him on a street.with another girl. He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me.as he touched the doll. I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell. Why did he gave these to me. Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that. it's going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll. Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came? I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual. Me: I don't need it. Jin: What..why. I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road. Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again! I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking. "I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll. Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!! But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then. Honk~ Honk~ With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him. "Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted. But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll. "Jin, move!" HONK~!! "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying. That's how he went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him. And after spending two months like a crazy person. I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days. when we were in love. "One.two. three." That was how. I started to count the dolls. "Four hundred and eighty four. four hundred and eighty five." It all ended with 485 dolls. I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly. "I love you~, I love you~" I dropped the dolls,shocked. "I..lo..ve.you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach. "I love you~ I love you~" It can't be! I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side. "I love you~" "I love you~" "I love you~" Those words came out non-stop. I.love you. Why didn't I realize that.......... That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he love me this much. I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much. "Jo.Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you.. Um. since I was too shy. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you. everyday. till I die. Jo. I love you." The tears came flowing out of me......... Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute. For that. and for that reason. to me. it became courage. to live a beautiful life.. It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose someone that you love with your useless pride !
Snow *
Has Stopped9:45 AM ;
__ Friday, October 22, 2004 ;
Wah... Auntie Jane is really pretty tonite.. she's dressed up to go out and she came All-In with a friend.. When i asked her where she's going, she says she's going to party with her friends.. Wow!! Haha..
When i first got together with stanrick, i can really feel there's a distance between us.. i think he's really happy with his friends.. more than he's with me.. now, i feel it again.. *Nod Nod* yeah.. i really feel it.. He talks, jokes and laugh with them.. He quieten down or even sounds agitated sometimes when he talk to me.. Dont say things like i'll scold u or wat if u dont come and meet me.. becoz u know i dont scold u becoz of things like that.. I've already told u first thing from the start of the relationship that i dont want u to feel obliged to do things for me.. If u dont feel like meeting me, dont.. If u dont feel like calling, dont.. Dont do it just becoz u feel like u're obliged to do it...
Thanks.......
Snow *
Has Stopped6:00 PM ;
__ ;
Yesterday after work, met up with selena at buona vista mrt at 7.15pm.. she's late.. coz i think she got delayed by Ivy then by Auntie Jane and kelvin.. Talked to baby while waiting for selena to come.. Didnt really have chance to talk to baby nowadays.. as in really talk.. We're just call each other for a few minutes, then put down phone le.. coz in the day time i'm working, he's sleeping or studying.. then at nite, i'm sleeping le.. he's studying for his coming exams..
Anyway, was surprised to see Ivy and Jason(Ivy's husband) with selena.. they were going to suntec.. We alighted at somerset Mrt station and when we're crossing the road, i saw a guy who is very familiar looking, and guess who? Kenny. Haha.. so qiao.. He's having his night's off and going to give his gf a surprise attack at orchard.. sweet huh.. got free time go find gf le.. Alone somemore.. Selena accompanied me to Meridian's foodcourt, as i need to meet a guy, sebestian, to pass his company namecard to him.. I saw his other partner before, sherman.. from the way his company is letting us print things, i've thought that its a restaurant at meridian or something like this.. instead, its just a stall at the foodcourt.. haha.. But, the bigger outlet is at east coast.. next time must go try the food there le..
We walked all the way to taka and splitted directions to shop..coz we feel that shopping together will waste alot of time, she having to wait for me to choose and buy my things and i have to wait for her to buy her things.. We've only abt 1hr to shop by the time we reached taka.. Selena bought a --- and a ----- for tim.. i shall not write out, in case selena is going to give tim a surprise and in case tim sees my blog and i spoil the whole thing.. I bought quite alot of things too.. but i'm really happy with my purchase.. :) After that, we walked over to wisma's MacDonalds and have dinner there.. Took 190 home and had to stand and squeeze all the way.. :( Stupid, selfish peeps.. There's actually lots of space inside the bus, but no one wants to move in.. end up those people(Me and selena) standing in front, close to the door had to squeeze.. Tim called selena when we're on the bus.. I think they're really sweet.. they're together for abt 2yrs plus le.. yet they still sounded very sweet and loving.. no hints of taking each other for granted or wat.. err.. i dont know abt tim.. but i do know that Selena does not take him for granted.. not at all.. everything she does concerns or spare a thought for tim.. seriously, i'm glad selena is xing fu.. coz i think she deserves it.. Hao ren you hao bao ma.. hahaha..
I love shopping and spending time with my loved ones and close friends.. so stephie, where are you? Where's our long awaited shopping spree?? Hahah...
Guess i'm bored.. plain bored.. Weili's not here today.. she took two days of leave to go KL with her bf.. Lucky her, want to take leave then just take.. If i were to take leave, have to consider so many things, e.g. Are all the invoices printed properly.. Alex knows when to collect money? Where are all the namecards or contacts kept at, can alex find, etc.. Guess, thats life ba..
Oh ya.. forgot to mention.. I got to go Beauty World shopping centre with selena today.. coz i need to go there to buy ribbons.. for a customer's swing tags.. Alex design, I go take the cast film, Richard uncle print, I source for the ribbons, buy it and tie it.. I hate it when alex conveniently ask me to go buy it.. as if i really have nothing to do.. Luckily selena is free to go with me to bukit timah to source for me.. I asked Baby to help me go bukit batok to see yesterday.. but he says dont have.. Had a slight arguement over this.. *praying* hope beauty world has it.. coz i've got to get it lastest by monday.. I guess Selena must be freaking mad with alex.. coz he doesnt know wat is helping people out of goodwill.. *shake Head* shall not comment too much..
Anyway, hope baby's exams end soon... coz i'm seriously missing the times when he has lots of free time to listen to my craps and nonsense.. to talk to me and to come meet me.. I have to be more understanding ba... Jiayou wor!! :)
Snow *
Has Stopped4:15 AM ;
__ Wednesday, October 20, 2004 ;
First thing first, saw stephie's msg in the morning and tried calling her abt 20 mins later.. she didnt pick up the phone.. and until now, 4 hrs has passed, she still havent call back.. Gal, hope u're feeling better... Drink more water.. *hugz*
Baby msg me yesterday nite when i was sleeping, saying that he's sad, coz i think that life with him is mundane.. I've already explained to him, but now i'm going to say it again.. Life is not mundane with u.. just that, i feel i have too much time to start thinking abt stupid things and letting a stupid woman affect me so much.. i'm sorry.. its not that i always tell u nothing's wrong then come write the things that are wrong in the blog.. but its just that i really dont know wat's wrong at that moment of time.. thats why didnt tell u.. Dui Bu Qi ma.. Qing ni yuan liang wo..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Things I'm thinking abt now~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-[[
Baby]]- How is his preparation for exams going on, or is he slacking with his friends at McDonalds.. (u better prove to me that u really got study hard)
-[[
Selena]]- Is she slacking at JIC Asia, trying to pass the 1+hr and waiting to go Bible study later or busy doing her work..
-[[
Stephanie]]- Is she getting better, sleeping now?
-[[
Lynn]]- Did she go to work these few days or staying at home to study for her exams?
-[[
Mummy]]- What she cook for my dinner tonight.. ^(oo)^
- What should i do this weekend.. Since baby is having his first paper next week...
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~[[Life.Is.Short.Cherish.It.And.Cherish.All.Others.Around.U]]~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Snow *
Has Stopped4:55 AM ;
__ Tuesday, October 19, 2004 ;
Stephie told me that she dont really feel like going clubbing with lynn on wednesday as thursday got to work, it'll be very tiring.. actually, thats my point of view too.. kind of lack the mood to club nowadays.. when they mention abt clubbing, the excitment in me only lasted for a while, then it will fade away.. guess i'm getting old.. dont like the energy to club so much le.. hahaha.. But, we've promise lynn we'll go with her.. especially me, coz i didnt go with her and stephie on friday and a some other times before this.. Luckily(oppsss..), lynn msg me today and told me that she has lots of things to study(she's taking CPA)and thus cant go le.. ^_^
Over the months or should i say since the beginning of this year, i feel that i've changed.. things i like to do in the past doesnt seems to interest me now.. Sometimes, this change is getting abit out of hand.. i dont seem to know wat i want now.. haiz.. abit out of topic le.. but, luckily.. there's one thing that i still really likes and hope it wont die out.. otherwise, life will really be so sianz.. and that's singing!!! yeah.. i like singing alot.. with selena especially.. ahah.. we'll hit on all S.H.E's songs.. *hope thursday faster come.. coz we're going Kbox together*
I actually went to sleep quite early yesterday.. abt 10pm, after i got home from dinner with selena and stephie.. sleep as in i was in bed at 10pm.. but funny enough, the moment i lied onto my bed, my coughing gets worst.. in the afternoon, maybe few coughs.. but at nite, it got so bad that i cant sleep at all.. kept tossing around in my bed or getting up to drink water.. Wanted to get up and read story book but heck, i cant borrow from library coz i still havent pay the fines.. haha.. finally, feel asleep at dont know wat time, but then woke up at 3+am again.. coz my throat is really itchy and started to cough again.. haiz.. i hate getting sick or coughs.. what's the use of getting to bed early when u cant sleep at all..
So, i used those hours to think of things.. i find that my life is really getting abit stagnant.. No aims, nothing.. just like wat stephie says, very fast one.. today is monday.. soon it'll be friday.. haiz, i know.. but it seems that we're waiting for time to past, instead of getting ourselves busy and spending quality time everyday.. we're wasting our youth.. I've decided to go back to my gym lifestyle.. luckily selena and stephie wants to go back to it too.. in the past, we'll go gym twice or three times a week.. now we'll back to it.. with a goal in mind, to lose weight and to tone up.. Also, after our gyming session, we're going to get down to serious stuff, that is 1 hr of discussing/sourcing for BD.. that's gonna be a start for me..
Another thing, i've wrote out a list(though not completed) abt how to be a better person and improve myself.. i'm going to start some self evaluation and will try to change to be a better self.. =) After i've finish, think i'll put the list in my wallet so i'll be reminded of it everyday.. Now, i'm going to remain with my motto, what's mine will be mine and dont think so much abt other things.. Things will sort out by itself.. Jiayou ba gal.. ^(oo)^
Snow *
Has Stopped5:45 PM ;
__ Sunday, October 17, 2004 ;
As usual, i came to baby's house in the afternoon.. Before that, accompanied him for his haircut, bought some noodles back home and he cooked for me.. Had our lunch, slack for a while and then took a nap.. Wanted him to study for his exams, but he wanted to accompany me instead.. I was so blur, forgot to bring the meteor gardens VCD, so cant watch.. Went to surf the net instead..
This is when things started to happen.. i logged on to friendster and wanted to let baby see my secondary school frens.. then i went in to check the messages... he realised that i've lots of messages which i havent check.. some was sent to me during end of july, aug.. i havent check.. but he also saw some replies from me to others in aug and sept.. he went to check on my messages and got mad.. coz lots of those idiot guys go message me lots of rubbish.. coz u know guys in friendster.. some are so desperate, go message alot of girls or add lots of girls.. then also forgot wat others say to them.. one of the guys say i told him i'm not attached.. hey, come on.. my status in friendster is that i am attached and i even have my bf's pix.. pls use ur brain.. baby got alittle upset.. guess coz he saw alot of people messaging me.. and i am still in contact with people who used to like me.. i didnt like him doing it, yet i still did it.. i was feeling terrible guilty.. i mean.. i didnt do anything.. but still, i dont like to see him sad.. instead, i turn around and showed him attitude.. i know i cant find excuses for my stupid actions, but still.... haiz.. its my fault.. i actually hit him.. twice.. on his arms.. coz i was so frustrated.. i wanted him to understand that nothing is going on between me and them.. they are not important to me at all.. then, i wanted to go and delete friendster.. since it is giving me so much trouble.. but baby dont let.. he says if i delete mine, he's going to delete his too.. so i went to delete most of the friends.. except for those who i really knows..
I just want to say something.. i'm really really very sorry.. the more u are not angry with me, the more terrible i feel.. but trust me, i wont ever do anything to hurt u..
SAT: Yesterday, i met my mummy after work and we went to jurong pt together.. to change her ATM card and then we went for lunch and went shopping.. I love my mummy alot.. i told her i wanted to eat steamboat, coz like very long never eat le.. she went to prepare and buy the things.. she never fail to do anything for me or my brother.. sometimes i can say that she's naggy and i'm taking her for granted, but i really love her.. =)
Baby came over to my house at abt 5.30pm for the steamboat dinner.. after that, we slacked around for a while, drank red wine and watch meteor gardens.. One of his ex gf, fiona msg him.. this girl still likes him(she messaged him to tell him).. and i wont forget that she told baby i act cute.. kaoz.. anyway, baby told me to msg her.. anything i want.. so i message that if its nothing important, dont keep msging me.. coz my gf dont like it.. and guess wat's her reply? she says that she thinks stanrick has changed and she's disappointed.. saying that he wasnt like this when he was with michelle.. then say fine if stanrick wants to choose to give up their friendship becoz of me.. I was damn pissed off.. with the girl.. this is the first time i ever get pissed off with the girl.. usually i would think its guys' fault.. but now, clearly in my mind i know its her fault.. kaoz, wat's her problem.. cant she just go find someone else and settle down with him? F*** off and back away from my guy.. Try it if u dare... I just hate it when u step onto my tail and keeping saying me as if i'm bad and u're very good.. NB...
Then baby went home and i talked to stephie on the phone for a while.. was feeling very tired and have the after effects of drinking the wine.. haha..
Snow *
Has Stopped8:30 PM ;
__ Friday, October 15, 2004 ;
SeLena, I think your blog looks kind of cool, compared to your previous one.. suits you more.. abit like stanrick's, with the snows or flower peddles, coming down.. =)
Had a great evening with the girls yesterday nite.. we went to westmall for dinner.. and as usual, stephie is the latest.. haha.. couldnt decide on what to eat, then stephie says she has the coupon for BK, so went BK despite me and selena having sore throat and cough.. serves me right for coughing more now.. haiz.. We talked abt lots of things.. the 4D thingy being the most funny thing.. haha.. if our wish really comes true, then YEAH!! so happy.. Discussed abt the Hong Kong trip next march, must start saving now.. and not forgetting our Business Development(BD) plan.. gotta show stephie the notes during the next meeting.. i was surprised that she didnt take BD.. thought she did.. anyway, its ok, quite easy to understand.. then we can come up with a plan and proposal soon... Mostly, the topics that centralize around us is work, family, travelling, money and bfs... guess we've grown up, start to think more abt our future needs and stuff like that huh?... haha..
Guess selena is right, we are always sianz.. think its becoz we need to move on to more exciting and new things le.. think the BD is a great opportunity to let us channel our energy to..
Baby is too busy studying for his exams these few days.. i've better not go disturb him too much.. but the thought of not talking to him for the whole day or not meeting up with him for days seems to sux.. haiz.. Though i've forgiven him regarding the lying thingy and the scolding me thingy, i'll still feel angry on and off.. mood swing ah.. ^_^ Hope he doesnt do it again ba........
Baby, we really need to control out tempers... otherwise, its going to be destruction on both sides.. =)
[[ Peace.No.Wars. ]]
Snow *
Has Stopped1:22 PM ;
__ Thursday, October 14, 2004 ;
Just saw Jiehui's blog and was brought back to the past.. wah.. your memory really very good.. haha.. read on and the scenes of the past came flooding back in my mind.. those days were great and fun.. Me, Selena, Janice and Karen always wanting to skip lecture.. then there is Jiehui, who always ask us to go.. haha.. but eventually we will also psycho her not to go.. then we'll go shopping or singing together.. And remember once we went to Cha Ren Zhi Jia, then jason called and told us that the lecturer is waiting for us to come.. coz got to see their presentations.. we even make up the story of Janice being ditched by bf.. very sad, so we got to accompany her.. Kaoz.. those were the days.. haha..
I guess, as we slowly grow up, all those can only remain as great memories.. Everyone has their own lives.. I think its been one year plus i didnt meet up with jiehui le.. apart from the occasionally Hi and Bye when we saw each other at MS abt almost one year ago? Karen is worst.. didnt see her for a long time.. except the beginning of this year when she came to help my auntie's friend for 3 days.. Janice.. hmm.. got some misunderstandings or problems between us.. guess our friendship just wasnt meant to be... But, i'm glad that Jiehui can keming can last for so long.. And, Happy belated birthday to Keming(Yest), Happy birthday to Karen(today) and Happy advanced birthday to Eric(tmr).. though all of us seldom contact already.. but an occasional greeting from one another still means a great deal eh?
Now, out of the 5 friends in poly, Selena is the one i'm still in contact with regularly.. tonite i'm going to meet her and Stephie for dinner.. Finally.. seems like a long time i didnt get to have a good talk with steph le.. (2 weeks or so le?).. I'm glad that i still have Stephie and Selena right by my side, constantly giving me the advices and support i need.. thanks gals.. *huggies*
Snow *
Has Stopped9:57 AM ;
__ Tuesday, October 12, 2004 ;
Got the big news from selena and Ivy, that we're going on a company trip.. but its more of a family cum company trip.. coz auntie jane is going to bring her family members, as well as JIC's staff to.. BANGKOK for a 5days trip.. guess wat, i'm the only one from All-In printing going.. haha.. but, that will mean that i'll have to take abt 4 days leave, fri,sat,mon and tues.. haiz.. Anyway, still looking forward to it.. ^_^
I was not feeling well yesterday.. having stomach upsets.. didnt want to go work, but dragged myself to it.. coz i have to full in the forms and send the cheque to CPF before 14th.. was prepared to go home halfway to go see a doc.. was seriously feeling unwell, quite weak and feel like vomitting.. but then alex told me not to go home.. he said doctor also give medicine which is very similar to the chinese "Bai Feng Wan".. so asked weili to go downstairs and buy for me.. then told me to rest at the sofa in Auntie Jane's room.. I slept for abt 1hr, 11.30 to 12.30pm.. then alex woke me up for lunch.. had fishball soup.. haha.. gave some to alex too.. (thats his motive for asking me to buy fishball soup).. Stanrick's sick too.. same as me.. guess we've took the wrong food the day before.. He was quite angry that alex dont let me go home.. later i told him to cool down.. guess he's also too weak to quarrel..
Finally endured through and went home at 6pm.. Met selena for dinner..
I really hate people who lie.. no matter wat reason u have, i still think that u shouldnt lie.. anyway, i was really quite disappointed in you yesterday... didnt want to believe me anymore, coz one lie could lead to more lies in future.. As i was walking home with selena, i knew that whatever decision i made that night is going to affect my many tommorrows to come.. My heart told me i cant let u go.. Cant imagine days without you.. but i seriously hate it when u lie.. can i take the risk again? I kept fighting myself with this.. But still, i feel that i believe whatever explanations you have given me.. My heart ask me to forgive u..
I told selena this: " do u know why sometimes some girls will stay on with their bf no matter how terrible the guy is or how many times she has been hurt? Its becoz their heart is still with the guy.. the love is still there.. if the love is gone, no matter wat the guy do, the girl will also not be touched.. "
Thats what i feel.. I still love you baby.. thats why i gave us a chance.. But, pls dont do it again.. Dont take it for granted that i'll forgive u.... becoz lying is the limit that i've given myself and u....
Snow *
Has Stopped6:10 PM ;
__ Friday, October 08, 2004 ;
Its friday again! And hey, i've changed my blogskin.. does it look better?
I spend abt 1+ hrs doing it.. coz cant seem to get it right.. its either the slideshow of the bear is missing or the alignments are wrong.. was quite pek cek le.. until baby called me at lunch time.. told him the problem and he's really patient.. analysing and giving me solutions and finally, it works!!! Thanks Baby.. =)
You people must have guess... why am i so free to do all these??
ALEX IS NOT IN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Haiz, he went to TIA yesterday to collect our laminated namecards.. i guess, he went out drinking with those ex colleagues of his again ba... Guess a person just cant change.. back to his usual self again.. drink and drink again.. hmm.. wat lynn said is right..
Her msg to me: "I suggest you change job.. coz your office is too limited for you.. If you have a few year's of good experience, it is good for you to do your own business next time.. Talk to your aunt, she'll understand and look for job.. market is good now.. join a big co, learn management.. connection.."
Her msg put all my doubts to zero.. that's wat i wish for in future and it should be wat i need to achieve too.. i'll give myself till feb.. so that i can get 1 year's of working experience here...
Selena coming my office later.. with auntie jane.. nervous, selena? Jiayou wor.. do wat u need to do.. i remembered auntie jane said something to me.. "bring ur brain to work and not ur heart.." so, get it over with and we can go home.. its sat tmr and u can meet ur tim le.. =)
And steph.. haha.. not bad huh.. thought one week cant see u le.. yesterday managed to see u at lot1.. u jiayou too! Let us know when is the available date for u next week..
Lastly, baby.... Jiayou in ur studies.. dont get too stressed up... I'll be there if u need me.. ^(oo)^
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Has Stopped2:30 PM ;
__ Wednesday, October 06, 2004 ;
Mid of the week!! Counting down le.. Haha..
My aim for this week is to read through my BD notes.. cant delay anymore.. so that hopefully by next week i can start my discussion with selena.. =) We must jiayou wor!! If not, by next year march we still cant come up with anything..
Went for breakfast with selena in the morning.. haha.. it seems like we've gone back to the poly times.. just that she cant take the train with me.. hmm.. and girls, dont forget next tues.. we're going to do the bookings for our trip.. =)
[[I.Must.Stay.Positive.And.Cheerful.JiaYou!!]]
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__ Tuesday, October 05, 2004 ;
My hp started ringing at 8.55am.. i was at the coffee shop, buying coffee for alex.. I heard alex's voice and knew somethings up again... he's not in office.. told me he went out and will only be back at abt 11am... kaoz.. Very fed up with him.. firstly, told him to call my other no with the free incoming, he didnt.. call the other one.. haiz.. then i asked him anything to follow up for today, he told me to call helen, from TIA and go over to collect the flyers.. hey, hello.. he is siao liao or wat.. flyers.. 10,000pcs.. how to collect? i mean.. i'm a girl lor.. arrghh.. then never mind.. he told me he got personal things to tell me.. and is that one of our customer, RON, likes me.. he wants to ask me out together with them yesterday, but alex told him that i'm out with my bf.. then alex says ron quite upset, keep singing sad songs and drinking.. oh yah, they went to a KTV with girls.. *yuckz*.. worst thing is that, alex ask me to pay for half of their expenses, saying that its becoz of me he has to go accompany RON... damn.. i was very very fed up..
Why is it becoz of me? I mean.. i didnt mislead ron or anything.. he knows in the first place that i have bf.. he even seen stanrick before.. and hey, i hate it when it is also you who wants to go and drink then keep finding excuses and sound as if you are being forced to go drink.. if u really hate it so much, can just say no or can just drink abit.. but, you drink until morning then come back still dare to say so much.. I'm angry, seriously angry.. told alex that ron's nothing to me and why should i pay when they are the ones drinking.. he told me that ron's sad.. and i told him its non of my business.. i mean, its really non of my business.. if he really likes me, then too bad.. i dont like him and wont ever like him... So people, dont be stupid enough and go do that kind of things, it wont make the girl sympathise with you.. it will only lessen the image of you in her eyes....
I'm not going to help you anymore when you are not going to help yourself.. I'm refering to alex.. everyone's patient has a limit.. dont step over it..
Thanks selena and baby for listening to my complains.. i love the both of u.. =)
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Has Stopped12:07 PM ;
__ Monday, October 04, 2004 ;
Here are the updates for the weekend... =)
Saturday: Reached office at 9am.. did some stock take on the different types of papers to make sure it tallies, did some closing of accounts for the week and went with weili to OCBC bank at holland village, then went SP to deliver namecards.. Kaoz, one year didnt go back to SP le.. cant even find W10.. haha.. drove around then managed to find.. wanted to go FC4 to buy lunch, but all the stalls are not open.. we went to FC3.. bought niang tou fu for alex.. it was.. yucky.. weili bought the muslim chicken rice.. i thought it looks quite nice.. but it was.. ahem.. *_^ Went back office is around 12.40pm le.. rot for a while, eat lunch, watch liu xing hua yuan then left office at 1.45pm.. Weili drove us to JP, as we need to go to POSB..
Met baby at lot1 after my banking.. sit at coffee bean for a while, went to walk around in lot1 and baby bought a top at giordano.. =) Went home to bath and get ready.. Hee.. gonna meet selena, tim, lynn, steph and kelvin later.. Wow, this is the first time we're actually having dinner with kelvin.. Went cck mrt station to meet selena and tim and we're off to the marche at suntec.. Lynn, steph and kelvin was already there.. Dinner was good.. but, mostly our orders consist of POTATOES.. hahaha.. cant escape that.. After dinner, we walked over to boat quay and took some photos on the way there.. Bought some drinks at 7eleven and sat beside the river to talk.. Wanted to go into one of the pubs, but it was to crowded.. In the end, stephie and kelvin left at 10+pm, the rest of us walked around and finally decided to sit outside.. err, which pub i also cant remember the name.. hahaha.. Left the place at 11.15pm as we dont want to catch midnight cabs.. Abt the incident in the 1st cab, dont really want to mention.. but gosh, selena and i really did slam the door..^5!!! Hahaha..
Baby went back to my place to take his things then he went home le.. =)
Sunday: Supposed to go to JP with baby and he's supposed to come over to my place to meet me.. but both of us woke up at abt 10.30am.. then he told me he's not going le.. at first abit pissed off, coz spoil my plan.. but i took my time to go meet him and luckily he's one of those who doesnt rush people.. hehe.. i went over to selena's place to get the vcds, went to library to return books then went NTUC.. bought lots of junk foods for baby.. can eat while studying for exams ma.. haha.. by the time i called baby, it was 1.30pm.. told him i'm at lot1, on the way there.. met him at abt 1.45pm at marsiling, then went for lunch..
After that, went to his house to rot.. while he packed his room.. =) Went home at abt 9+pm.. It was quite a relax day.. That silly baby.. ask him to study then he say is his day off.. kaoz..
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__ Sunday, October 03, 2004 ;
me and selena.. look at her blue lashes.. *wink wink*
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snap shot4
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4 girls again.. this is one of the pic i like best..
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Stephie, lynn and I.. eh, where is selena..?
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Stanrick, lynn, kelvin and tim.. wow.. lynn's got all the yan fu.. *_^
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Baby and i.. why baby looks like he's falling asleep.. hahaha
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Posting with the dragon..
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Lynn and I
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snap shot 1..
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Me... baby was asking me not to act cute.. hahaha..
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stupid baby.. copying the post of me when i fell down at the stairs just now.. luckily lynn was holding on to me..
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Lynn.. getting prettier le wor.. i'm sure gonna miss her..
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Baby and I.. with lynn suddenly appearing and haha.. she looks abit like ghost? *grinz*
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stephie, selena, lynn and me.. posting when we were on the way to boat quay..
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Rosti with sour cream.. mine and baby's order again.. ^(oo)^
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Cheese sausage with potato wedges.. Mine and baby's order..
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Has Stopped7:00 PM ;
__ Friday, October 01, 2004 ;
ITS FRIDAY AGAIN and the first day of the month... i have few goals in my mind this month...
(1) spent time with lynn whenever both of us are available
(2) control my temper, less quarrels with baby
(3) learn to say no more firmly
(4) meet steph and selena at least 4 times this month(we've been meeting less last month)
(5) learn to be more understanding
(6) focus on work
(7) save more money
Haha.. but think pt no 7 is gonna be broken already... coz going out with lynn, baby, selena, tim, stephanie and kelvin tmr... sure will spend some $$...
Alex is still not in office.. we went kbox yesterday(alex, me, weili and her bf.. then ron came later when i'm going home).. haiz.. this explains for a bad day for me yesterday.. we reached there at 7.30pm and i've found an excuse after going through alot of shit and managed to leave at 8.45pm.. sorry baby.. let u eat ur dinner so late, only at 10pm.. =X
Think alex drank alot yesterday.. but he called me at 9.15am this morning.. say he coming back at 10am.. lets hope he really does so..
Anyway, i'm gonna be guai guai today.. dont angry baby anymore.. =)
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Has Stopped9:40 AM ;
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It was one hell of a day yesterday.. but nevertheless, its happy ending at the end of it... I wont want to go into details of that.. i've promise myself and baby to forget it... =)
But, the memories of yesterday is going to stay within me.. not the bad parts, but the end part, where me and baby came to a compromise at the void deck... I really starts to understand him more and more... to a point where i think me and him are really very similar... both of us are quick tempered and wants things in our ways... i can understand the things that he's struggling onto.. to control his temper, yet not that easy.. never mind baby.. it takes time.. lets learn together to control our tempers together... Yesterday, he made me realised things or feelings i've never known before.. i didnt know that it actually hurts so much just to see ur love ones being hurt... even though the pain is not inflicted on me, my heart hurt so much that i think its gonna break into two when i saw his hand.. its sort of like i can actually feel his pain... *ouch*
Why are we always so silly.. each feeling insecure, thinking that what others said is going to break us up... I wont give you up if you remain this way or is improving everyday..(remembered this is wat u ask me some months ago).. i dont care what others say abt you.. i dont care if u are poor or rich, healthy or unhealthy... i just love you for the way you are and please please dont change for the worst.. let me see this you for a long long time to go... I wont stop loving you if you dont stop loving me... ^(oo)^
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