__ Thursday, March 31, 2005 ;

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE FINAL OUTCOME???...........

My birthday is nearing. *hint* Yet, i dont feel excitment.. 22 years old.. Another one year older. But wonders if i'm wiser? Or more wishy washy....

In dilemma.

Anyway, i must learn to be independent again. Shrugs. Heaven played a joke on me. Happiness is short lived. I must accept it and look forward.

Auntie Jane was here. After sending me to K.C Lau's office, she came up to All-In. And, tata.... Alex was caught. In front of Clive's computer using MSN, doing his trading. I saw his 'oh-no. What-excuse-to-give-face.' Guess he's guilty, or scared.
Later, they went into Jane's office to 'talk'. Who knows abt what. Then Auntie Jane came out. Took JIC's namecard, paid and told me she'll talk to me tmr. Something's up. I can sense it. The way Auntie Jane talks. But what? I can only know it tmr. Coz she has entertainment tonight. Hmm.. I can only wait. But, that's the happiest thing that happened to be today... Alex being caught. And i'm not feeling sorry at all. I just hope Jane will see the point that Alex cant make it and get someone else in or manage All-In herself or just... forgo it.

This is the 4th day i never see him..... The longest we've never seen each other since the start of our relationship. Will i ever get to see him again? Will he change? Whats our problem? Is being truthful so difficult? Is it a habit to keep things to himself or is it a habit to lie?(being addicted and all) Why cant we go back to the life we've both so missed?

These questions keep popping up in my mind... Adding to my stress level and feeling lost. I've told him... Loving you is a difficult task.. It really is.. But i dont know why, i still love him.

Snow *
 Has Stopped5:35 PM ;


__ Monday, March 28, 2005 ;

Its the first day of the week and i'm already having such a bad day....

When are all these going to be over... I've lose faith and i've lose heart.. Just when i thought i've found the perfect someone.. things got to turn out this way.. No longer will i hope.. no longer will i wish... I've become numb... Now i believe this saying... Bad things happen all at one go.....

I had quite a good weekend... But those can only be memories now.. I know things will never be the same anymore....

Fri: Woke up, dressed up and meet stanrick for our da chan.. then we shop around at Jurong point.. then went to watch the eye10... Not a very nice show.. But i sort of enjoyed it.. coz of the company... Its been very long since the two of us went to watch movie... We even brought popcorns, bubble tea and drinks.. such pigs.... Then, he went to work and i went to meet Selena at causeway point.. went shopping, but couldnt get the things we want.. Then i accompanied Selena to eat dinner.. back to lot1 then home...

Sat: Woke up early, called stanrick to check with him if he can make it on time to go BBDC.. actually i was feeling kind of tired.. but he said yes.. so i forced myself to wake up.. Met him at 10.45am.. got in the queue for 188 at bus interchange.. but got out again.. haha.. coz i told him very sianz.. i still have to take photo.. then he told me he no time to go take exams coz of his school's exams.. so we thought, might as well book next time.... Same thinking= lazy pigs.. ^_^ went to foodcourt and eat breakfast cum lunch.. then went back to my house, laze around and sleep... Slack for a while then he went work.. wanted to stay at home read my notes.. but Selena called and asked me to go Jurong east.. so met her at 8.15pm.. went to shop and had dinner at Mac... Then back home..

Sun: Spent the day rotting at stanrick's house.. Then he went to work.....

Today: This thing happened..... I really dont know what to say.. Maybe its fated to be this way... Forget it.. I wont ask him to stay.. The cracks are already there.. Its not easy to mend it back.... Its not the same as last time... this is the FINAL time....

Auntie Jane opposed against Alex's idea abt tshirts and stationeries and I think Alex is freking mad....

Snow *
 Has Stopped5:00 PM ;


__ Thursday, March 24, 2005 ;

~ 15 More minutes!!!!!!!

Can go home soon. :) Lets see. Nothing much this weekend i guess. But i'm going to eat da chan with baby tmr.. Been through lots of downs.. its time to stop all those.
Need to rest as much as possible and i'm thinking of reading through my yr 1's marketing notes this weekend. And everything abt retail planning. I need to write up a proposal for Alex and Jane, since alex has in mind to restructure All-In. Only told me something like he's going to bring in Tshirts and stationeries.. See what i can do to make them sell.

It would be good, if what alex has in mind is what i have in mind. haha. But i cant be sure for now. Got to wait till end April when Alex has a shareholder meeting with Jane. Oh ya, Auntie Jane was saying, if i can give all-in one more chance, after she wants to come in more often to help manage All-In, she's going to give me 20% of the shares by end of this year. Hmm.. everything will have to wait and see whats Alex's plan and is it going to get Jane's approval and whether it will really work.

So, i guess... I'll give Alex one more month... before i make my decision. :)
Actually, was quite pek with him this morning. I came in at 9.30am, coz i went to the bank and immediately he ask me why havent call choo- we have a delivery to be made this morning. I told him simple- things are not ready yet. You always tell me to call only when ready. Actually, he has already called choo. He knew where is he and that he cant make it for the delivery le. But he wants me to call again. And give me those attitude--- so how? What are u going to do when the customer wants the goods this morning but Choo cant make it? What alternatives do you have, settle it yourself. I wanted to call the customer to ask if they can allow delay. We'll send in afternoon. But he keep saying, sure get scolded one. But in the end, i still called.. and the customer is ok with the delay. I'm unhappy coz i know he wants me to make decision, to be independent. But i hate it when u give me those ya ya attitude. Like you're so........ anyway, enough of that.

Hope that with new plans/ proposal, i can work towards to working alone and not with him and dont have to be dependent on him- for instructions or quotes or etc.

To all dear friends, enjoy your long weekend!!!! =]

Snow *
 Has Stopped6:15 PM ;


__ Tuesday, March 22, 2005 ;

孤单的人总说无所谓


作词：邬裕康 作曲：郭子 编曲：陈敬诗

我的心真的累了 难道你一点也看不见 解释再多也不能改变
感情不能靠我一个人挽回 开始学着不要人陪 假装孤单也是一种美
大街上的情人双双对对 让我看得心愈来愈碎
孤单的人总说无所谓 其实心里一直在下雪 总是希望有个人
能够敝开我心扉 让我在他怀里找到安慰
孤单的人总说无所谓 一直独自整理所有伤悲 掩饰心中的感觉
强忍眼角的泪水 聚聚散散 不愿说后悔
孤单的人总说无所谓 其实心里不停在下雪 只能希望有个人
试着敝开我心扉 让我在他怀里 找到安慰
孤单的人总说无所谓 还是独自整理所有伤悲 掩饰心中的感觉
强忍眼角的泪水 聚聚散散 不愿说后悔 埋藏心中的感觉
擦干眼角的泪水 聚聚散散 不愿说后悔

Snow *
 Has Stopped3:05 PM ;


__ Monday, March 21, 2005 ;

Finally, the long awaited talk with Auntie Jane is going to be tmr, after work....

I'm so excited and yet fearful of the future. What is she going to say when she knows of my plan? Is my plan going to make it? *i'm going to make it, coz i'm sure this is what i really want and is the best for me.

Can she provide me with another better alternative? So that, i dont have to save until like mad. Hahaha..

Sorry gals. Will have to change the meeting to Wednesday again.

Last sat was a total boring weekend for me. Both me and baby was sulking, so i decided not to go down to look for him. (Actually i was waiting for him to come and find me, to hong me). He's such a dumbo. Didnt do anything. I should have known, given his stubborness. I was equally stubborn, so whole sat sulk at home lor. ^_^

He gave me a call when he's going to work, only then i feel better. Sunday was spend rotting at his house, then as usual, he went to work in the evening.

This week is a short week and i'm definately looking forward for weekends. Argh, one more minute spend in this office is going to drive me crazy. Looking at Alex sitting in front of Clive's PC, instead of his own MAC and chatting online- doing some trading or whatever shit. Shrugs. Cant even ask him to print some things that customer wanted. Keep telling me to remind him tmr. Spend the whole day doing his OWN things. I think the FUJI XEROX is really quiet today, no prints at all. *shake head*

Said something abt going to leave the office for me? Kaoz! are u crazy? We'll see what tmr offers.

This evening baby is not working. Having dinner at my place.. Hmm, finally.

Snow *
 Has Stopped4:50 PM ;


__ Thursday, March 17, 2005 ;

I feel so sleepy the whole morning.. *yawnz*

Feeling of discomfort is coming again. Been like this since 7am this morning. Tummyache, on and off.... Hmm.. Had goose bumps on and off.. Haha.. Wonder if people realised when they stand near me in the train this morning..

Well, my stomach is growling, yet i have no appetite. Haiz, something is seriously wrong with me.. Guess i'm falling sick soon.

Was quite happy this morning. Baby called me twice in the morning.. He woke up early too. Coz he has to go to a company to interview the staffs there for his project. But glad that he made an effort after our talk yesterday nite. Thanks ah bee.

15 more minutes to lunch and after that another 5 more hours to endure..............
Ha. Working life is seriously damn sianz. Especially when you dont have a goal or direction as in where this job will lead you too. Got to do some serious thinking soon. Hopefully next week. =)

Snow *
 Has Stopped12:15 PM ;


__ Wednesday, March 16, 2005 ;

LYNN!!!!

I really miss you so much... Miss the days when you are around.. I can talk to you about anything and everything.. U are just so logical and patient... Telling me things in different light......

I really feel so down.... Doesnt seem to have anyone to talk to...

Mood Swings. I cant describe what i'm upset abt too... Seems to be everything..

When will i ever see you again?

Snow *
 Has Stopped4:20 PM ;


__ ;

Went double O last sat. It was fun though it was only the 3 of us dancing together thru the nite. Me, Stanrick and Steph.

Met steph at orchard after Stanrick goes to work. Walked around, had dinner with Jason and Teck Siang, though they eat we never eat then sat down, u look at me, i look at you. It was real weird. So long seems we've met up.. 2 years? closed to. Steph was saying, when we grow up, whatever things we do with guys seems weird rite. Walk around also weird. Watch movie also weird. Sit down also weird. Haha. I agree. Coz, they are not our BF! And we had a line clearly drawn.

Anyway, its the first time i've seen Jason so pek cek. Teck Siang decided not to go double O at the last minute. Personal reason, but it makes Jason pek i guess. It was totally heavy color light friend. Shrugs. Anyway, we parted at 10pm, me and steph going down to PS to wait for Stanrick while they decide if they wants to go. Recieved Jason's msg at 10.15pm, saying TS had the final call not to go..

Steph and I went to 7-11, brought 2 bottles of e33, one dougnut to share and sandwiches for baby. Waited till 11pm for him to off work, then walked to MS. Just 5 minutes before reaching, received a msg from Janice. And i got abit pissed off. I just had it when people havent get the facts rite and just shoot u.

"You asked us not to put Jason they all aeroplane. Me, Juliana and Jiehui here already. You know Jason not coming? Is you all put us aeroplane."

Hello... I'm on my way there okay. The queue at double O was super long. Went thru the express queue. Straight away drank 2 shots of tequila niche. Shoik. Haha. Went dancing, not high enough, came back for 2 more and its dancing all the way. Janice and Juliana came to find us for a long, told us where Jiehui is and went to dance on their own. We went to look around, but couldnt find Jiehui. Danced till abt 2.45pm, realised i'm super hungry, went off to look for jiehui once again, but couldnt find, we went off le... For supper. Haha.. It was the first time after so long i went to eat after clubbing. Usually i will be too tired or giddy to want to eat.

Anyway, 3 of us agreed that nite was fun. Hadnt had such long nites of dancing for a long time. :)

Went to baby's house to stay over and slept until afternoon time next day. First time again. Haha.

I'm looking forward to some nights out again. But probably not clubbing. Maybe like wat steph says. Get all dressed up, shop around in orchard feels good too.. Everyone has their idea of fun. Us too. Including just sitting round to slack. Its not the environment. Its the company. =]

Snow *
 Has Stopped2:30 PM ;


__ Wednesday, March 09, 2005 ;

didnt blog for a long time coz life has been bad recently... no mood for anything...
nothing at all....

will update when i'm better........

Snow *
 Has Stopped2:50 PM ;