__ Friday, May 06, 2005 ;
Everything was fine.. or i thought was fine.. few days ago.. Few days later, its hell.
Tuesday till today.. friday le.. i dont feel good at all.. especially on wednesday and thursday... It really hurts like hell.. When he told you that he did not contact the person that affects me so much, yet.... from her, i got to know he did... He even told her we're off when i told him not to contact me anymore.. true.. there's nothing wrong in him doing that.. but it hurts so much.. becoz i'll feel.. does our relationship mean so little to him that once we're off.. he got to tell her.... I wonder abt the depth of their conversation.. He kept telling me in the past he hates her.. but i dont know why.. he got to contact her.... not for the reason he told me abt.... Even when i know he contacted her, i still harbour the thought that maybe its becoz he wanted to get things back from her... but yet.. when the words... "WHY? You're still together with him meh.. He told me u all not together le.. " appears on my screen.... i was so stoned.... I couldnt imagine why he ever did that.... he dont know how hurt i am.. when the trust is being betrayed.. when he cant stand the temptation.... Seems like its not enough, he didnt contact her only that day... becoz, she appeared in his hotmail contacts again...
It just hurts like hell.. when the person you loved betrayed you... but you still love him... still.. u know that you cant get back with him again... because you dont want him to hurt you anymore.. u wont know when he's going to do it again...
Actually, all i want is the truth.. if u like her and tell me so, i can accept.. if u contact her becoz u chee hong, i can accept.. and dont feel so hurt.. if u tell me u dont love me anymore... i can gradually accept the fact... but, i cant get out of these shit when u tell me u still love me, still miss me.... got still go and do all these to contact her... i dont understand...... why do u have to hurt me. All i ask for is simple love... One guy can only fall in love with one gal and likewise..
People dont solve problem by being rebellious and doing things to hurt people they love.. if you encounter anything u dont like, pls communicate.... not being rebellious.. coz once u did something, u cant turn back time and undo it... the hurt is already done.. If u love someone enough, u will not bear to hurt him/her. You will not have to tell her u need time to cool down.... and u wont not choose anyone... becoz.. u love her so much that u dont think u even need to choose... once there's a need to think or a need to say both also dont want to choose.. it means, there's confusion in you..
The only conclusion i can come up with to console myself is that... he dont love me enough to choose only me and stay with me.....
This is something i saw in friendster's bulletin and i find it so true...
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his
behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a
man's character, leave Him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from
heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship
that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find
what makes you truly happy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not
treating you as you deserve then heck no you
can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a
friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship,
but don't let faith make you stupid. God does
things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then
he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the
relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is
unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like
that?
14. Don't stay because you think "it will get
better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for
staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business
and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a
relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you;
he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a
bunch of different women. He didn't marry them
when he got them pregnant, why would he treat
you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before
finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate
from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If
something bothers you, speak up.
23. If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung
along.
26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove
yourself from the situation to let him figure things
out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will
treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his
family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's
emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of
them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors.
Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not
willing to follow himself -- double-standard.
31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more
important than you are...even if he has more
education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a
man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he
can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other woman, but be
aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is.
Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying,
let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to
yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't
mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean
that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right'
the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one
person in the life of the #1person in your life.
FOR GUYS
Guys.
realize that the girl holding onto u..
is PERFECT in their own special way.
The way she laughs..
The way she sleeps..
The way she loves you..
The way she tries to please you...
Always remember that.
She can always walk away and up,
getting someone else who can love her more.
For all you know,
there is someone out there wooing her already,
but she is rejecting,
a maybe perfect love, for you.
There might also be someone out there..
who is willing to love her more than you are loving
her now,
fufill her every need and love her as much as she
loves you.
Understand that.
Girls have a huge guilty concience.
...imagine this, guys.
When you are holding her today...
and then you cheat on her by hugging and kissing
another gal.
and then you run back to her...
and u do the same....
but you see love in her eyes...
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel guilty?
She loves you not because you are good looking,
have money,
buy her things,
make her parents happy,
or that you have a car or bike.
It's because..
she loves you.... n FOR YOU.
she loves the way you laugh,
the way you sleep,
the way you hug and hold her,
make every little bad thing go away.
That's why she loves you.
Always remember that.
There might be another guy...
who wants to have what you have.
So dun let relationships run wrong.
You might never have another chance with that
girl.
Dun regret when you lost a gem
I am writing all these because its really causing me too much hurt..... i tried not to think at all.. but when i get home, memories will come.. of us going to bugis, Ikea, slacking at each other's place, him cooking for me etc.... It just feel so terrible. Then i tried to think of his actions to add her and the thing she told me-he called her and told her we broke off le.. i feel heartbroken all over again... I hope time will heal everything... Let me be the me before he comes into my life... Let me be cleverer and not be binded to the truth.... Cant imagine.. we're together for one year already.. they have broken off for one year.. why is it now... only one year later.. have i wasted this one year...?
Snow *
Has Stopped6:30 PM ;
