__ Thursday, May 12, 2005 ;

How should i say? hmmm.... yesterday and today, i felt the worst... Coz.. i have a feeling he's tired too... not like last week's enthusiam, last week's feelings of wanting me back....

Things have changed. We're so close yet so far apart. When did things start to get wrong? I keep asking myself.. Saw a site, sent by hsiao hui.. there's a paragraph which i think is particularly true...

The title is: If u still love someone deeply, but things have gone to a stage where there's no salvaging, what will you all do?

Someone answered this and said: Things doesnt get bad in one day, not in one second. Its becoz along the way, things are building up, in the wrong way.. but people choose to ignore and slowly and slowly, these problems roll up... just like a snowball.. then if it hits something, it will burst. Then u'll realise u can never find back to way he used to treat u.. the warmth, care and attention. What has become the initial giving of flowers and chocolates? Replaced by frustration, excuses of work is busy and stressed up etc.. U should let go then.. at least to remain some of the good memories, rather than getting it worst, leaving all bad memories..

Another someone argued that: True love is only found once... U should not give up, should grab hold of every opportunites to get it back, even though u're very hurt...

What do u all think?
I can sense that he's tired... he's not as caring as the past, not as close to me as in the past.... What can i do?

Nothing... can only let time past..... sit there with thoughts, even though he kept saying dont think so much... Feel the pain in my heart and cry at night. Yet.. i dont want to let go.........

Maybe i'm a silly and stubborn shit. I just want to find out everything that has happened. I want to know... even if i know i'll get sad by the truth.. rather than me thinking and thinking and having no answers.........

If only he can be the HIM in the past.
Coz, i dont think anyone can take his place in my heart.. even after all these.......

Snow *
 Has Stopped4:30 PM ;